Apocalypse Milk Taste Test

– Welcome to Good Mythical More – Ten word story, this is when we tell a ten word story back and forth, one word at a time

– Well – I – Just – Went – Number

– Two – In – A – Large – Bucket

(Link laughing) Was that ten? – Well I just went number two in a large bucket – Wow – How do we do that? We're not counting – We're channeling Jim Baker Okay

– And I added, the, "Well," is what did it You start with, "Well" – Always start with, "Well," in your ten word story – If it wasn't, "Well,' I, then what would've been the tenth word? I just took a number two in a large – I would've said Baker and hope that you said bucket

– Oh Okay – Okay, Link, we're gonna make some – And you would've been disappointed – Some apocalypse milk

– But first, what is this? – Oh you wanna try that and then wash it down with apocalypse milk? – Yeah – That is the, basically, marinara with pasta And I will note that when Kevin set this down a second ago I said, "That looks good," and he went, "Hmm" (crowd laughing) As if, you just wait until you eat it – And that's right, Rhett did say Kevin

The guy singing now works for us – Yeah, we hired him during the wheel video – Not as good as the soup – Actually might be a little better than the soup – Its amazing where the flavor goes

– Away – Well, its not just that Initially you just think, "I'm eating what I think I'm eating" – Yes, right – And then, now it tastes like I just, I put my mouth on a piece of equipment

You know what I'm saying? – Yeah – Its like I put my mouth on an air conditioner for 17 minutes That's what my mouth tastes like How do they do that? Its actually kind of cool, Jim – (laughs) I mean, Jim doesn't make it

Again, his name is not even on the bucket He just sells it, he uses fear to sell somebody else's bucket which he makes a big cut off of – Quite a concept – I mean, you know, fear is a great marketing tool He's not the first or the last to use it

– Well because I have, I don't have any of the Jim Baker buckets, but I have, and I got some for you as well, I got a couple of buckets at home just in case, you know – They're square buckets – I went with Mountain House, is that what we said it was? Mountain House – Yeah – Not an endorsement for them but they had the best reviews on Amazon and

– He didn't tell you the full name though The full name is Jim Baker's Mountain House, which we also frequent He's got a hot tub – I went to Jim Baker's mountain house and we were both in the hot tub together (grunts) – Oh, what are you doing? – And I said, "Jim

" – You can't lose powder in the apocalypse, man – Yeah, yeah – You gotta use all of the freaking powder – You gotta have scissors in the apocalypse Should've had scissors

– You've powdered your crotch – So what you're gonna do – With our milk – Take, you're gonna do this too Take your warm water, which is your small dealio

– Yeah? – You're gonna take two tablespoons of your powder, your milk, and then you, golly, I'm doing something wrong, Jim Sorry Jim, hate to disappoint you Take two of those, and you're gonna mix it in the warm – So this is apocalypse milk, huh? You said two of these? – I did say two of those And then you're gonna take your chilled water and you go to where, whenever you're satisfied

– Go to wherever you're satisfied Jim Baker's mountain house is the only place that I'm satisfied – Oh gosh, sounds real bad – The views, the views are amazing – Yeah, the views

– I mean, I thought – It smells like a medical clinic – When I first heard, which you frequent as well When I first heart apocalypse milk, I was thinking that it was gonna be fortified with other things like Soylent, but you're just talking about powdered milk – Yeah, 'cause I mean liquid milk is not gonna make it that long, but this powder stays good for 20 years

20 years! – What was that? I couldn't hear you – 20 years! – How do they know that, though? – But when will you break it out and start using it? – Anytime in the next 20 years – Wrong answer The correct answer is: end times (crowd laughing) – Okay, I'm fully mixed over here

You might be over mixing; pretty sure you are Dink it and apocala-drink it – Huh That's not that bad – It would be better if it was chilled, but that can't happen in the apocalypse

This is how you'll drink it Its not bad – So many things that we take for granted right now You won't have them anymore Ice; think about it

– Internet – If somebody figures out how to make ice Now first of all, for a few years there will be people with generators – Right, you'll be watching this show Someone very well could be watching this episode during the apocalypse via some sort of, not through the internet, but they've compiled, they stored locally all of our episodes

– They saved it – Which I highly recommend in your apocalypse kit, is keep a hard drive of this show – We can get you through probably, we probably have a couple of weeks worth of content at this point, maybe more than that – And because we're saying it right now its happening And in the future, which is your now, greetings to you, good for you making it this far in the apocalypse, and thanks for bringing us along

Of course, I'm dead (crowd laughing) – Yeah – I'm long gone – And I'm currently enveloped in a pig carcass that I have made into a suit of armor and I have a collection of human baby femurs just around my neck – Baby what? – Baby femurs

Human baby femurs That's what I said the first time – Human? – Its human babies that have not been willing to submit to me (crowd laughing) And my rule And I have carved all my teeth into points

(crowd laughing) And I have tattooed the whites of my eyes red – Like I said, I'm dead, and I'm very happy for it – Yeah, you hung on for a while, but then when I started carving my teeth you were like, ah – Remembered this moment, I remembered this moment and I remembered this story, and I was like, I know where this is going, I'm out, I'm out – I subsist 100% on apocalypse milk at this point

Now, I actually, this is a little bit weird – You're far too horrible – This is weird I have inserted into a dead cow, and I actually squeeze the utters into my own mouth because it intimidates the entire village, and they're like, "I cannot believe he drinks his milk directly from a dead cow," and I'm like – Its a farce

– Yeah, the whole thing is is like, when I go back to my room, I take off the pig carcass, I take off the baby bones, I spit up the milk, and I go back to my regular self 'cause its all an act just to get people to stay in line, you know? (crowd laughing) Then I'm like, "I gotta go back out there and drink out of this dead cow again" – Do you have a squire for putting on the carcass? – You were the squire for a while (laughs) – I was not I was not, I will not, I refuse – Well now its Chase

(crowd laughing) – He's a, he's holding up pretty well – He's still here, yeah? – Every day at four o'clock we kiss on the lips (crowd laughing) Again, its to show our dominance (crowd laughing) – [Link] To each other? – [Rhett] He dresses as a prince, you've seen it (Link laughing) – Fun times, the end times

– Yeah, you're gonna love it (Link humming)

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