French Onion Soup Funnel Cake Taste Test

(rooster crows) (lion roars) (loud bang) – Hmm – Welcome to Good Mythical More

– Motivational speech We're gonna give a motivational speech to the escalator repairman who has to deal with people making temporarily stairs jokes all day – Heh heh, hey man, listen You just put your head down and you do what you know needs to be done and that's get those stairs moving again The hecklers can bite it

– And here's a little perspective You know, being honest with you, I mean, that whole temporary stairs joke is actually pretty good I mean, I've made it myself So, get over it – Wasn't very motivating

– Yeah, that's the kind of motivation I wanted to give (clears his throat) – You ever gotten something caught in an escalator? – Yeah, my 11th toe – A shoestring, or 11th toe? – Yeah – Well, that's convenient 'cause if you rip it out? – It was actually purposeful – It's like you know I need to get rid of this 11th toe, I'm gonna go to the mall (laughs) – No, but I have definitely seen enough internet videos to be very worried every time, especially when I'm with my kids, to make sure that there's not like a shoestring, or like a pant leg or something like that So, even if, from the time that they were little, and I'm typically not cautious about this kind of stuff

– Yeah – As we get to the end of the escalator I'm like making sure everybody's in position – 'Cause it, well, pause that So we've got one more funnel cake that Josh is gonna bring in I'm told it's a french onion soup

– That might be a lie – Gosh – Oh my – You trying to make up for that pig anus, my friend? – Yes, know that I do feel incredible guilt and shame about a lot of this – But not this

– Not this, no, I'm really proud of this one – Okay, french onion soup is my favorite soup, man – Really? – Did you know that? – No, so that's cool It's me and Micah's favorite soup to talk about instead of doing our work in the office – Oh, really? – Yeah, that's how this came up

– So, what are you doing, Link? Link doesn't like french onion soup So he's desecrating it from the very beginning – No, I'm not – That's fine – I like french onion soup

– What are you doing to it? – This is how I eat it I start with just like, okay, where are the weak points? Where am I gonna go? Where am I gonna plunge? – It's not a archeological dig – Trying to find a trapped miner down there – Yeah, it's like, if he taps back So, is this just, what kind of funnel cake is this? – So you know the Lipton french onion soup powder? Like a lot of people mix in the sour cream for chip dips

– Yeah – Yeah – Put a lot of that in the actual funnel cake batter and then topped with a bunch of gruyere and then there's french onion soup And this is just a prototype This is a real high concept

– Okay – So this is a etch – Yeah – When you are on an escalator – Uh-huh

– I do think you're right It's not getting on the escalator that's the problem It's when you're gonna get off and making sure that it doesn't suck, it takes the step under, and that's when it can grab – Right – Grab your goodies – Well if you're sitting on it naked, yeah

– No I mean like, your shoestrings or something – Mmhmm, yeah – Oh, it's hot It's hot, man – Man, that's good, man

That works Listen, the eels, man – Yeah So those little baby eels were like – We were calling somethin' else not baby eels like just call them – Post-anything – Here's the thing

If we didn't eat the baby eels, we didn't eat the baby eels, sea creatures would eat them – The only thing about killing thousands of individual living creatures, think about taking the food out of another living creature's mouth that is then going to die – Right There's a compounding effect which makes me feel better – Mmhmm

– Those baby eels may not have even lived if they hadn't of been born to go into that funnel cake – This is really great – I'm gonna stop talking – Yeah, I'm not listening to you – I really like those baby eels that they're getting

– This is really great, I'm just not motivated to continue eating at all after the pig anus situation – That was – So you guys enjoy that – How was the texture on the actual funnel cake for that, though? – I didn't have to process that – That was my hope

I actually thought pretty early on that I could do it and kudos to you, Rhett, for taking it down – Well, here's what I was saying You know the first pig anus I ever had, I'll take it back to that moment, that was prepared by Chase – Mm – And Chase had a very specific boiling, cooking technique

Boiling for safety – Yes – And it really retained all of its anal qualities – Mm – When it was boiled and if you did something that sort of took the anusness out of it a little bit, you know what I'm saying? – Not all of it, though

– I mean – 'Cause I can still smell it on my fingers – I say you took 30 – Smell your pinky – 30 to 50% of the anusness was taken out of it

It kind of smells like wipes now – Yeah, it's like, anus and Febreeze which is what the kitchen has been smelling like for like three days, actually – Smell my finger – That's what most bathrooms smell like – That's worse

– So I was actually trying to take some of the anusness out but then trap it back inside because I pressure cooked it in an Instant Pot – Oh, really? – So maybe there's some sponsorship opportunities here – Yeah, call your anus to call – But – No, but I thought that, what was in the gravy around it? – So, it was literally just the pressure cooking liquid from the anus and the intestines were in there, and then that was mixed with just a little bit of cornstarch to thicken it and then reduced for a long time

– Liquid anus – I was really trying to concentrate all the anus into just like an anal goo – Liquid anus, wasn't that name of the band that played at my wedding? – Liquid Blesher – Oh, Liquid Blesher – It's almost weirder

(laughs) – Depending on your predilection – Yeah, yeah – If I'm not mistaken, I'm not trying to change the subject here – But I am – I think I've, have I not seen a video on the internet of someone on an escalator get their pant leg caught and then it pulls their pants all the way off of their body? – That's probably been on the internet a dozen times

Different folks every time – That's a beautiful thing – Have you seen the video where the escalator got too fast? – Yeah – And what? – And it just started piling people up at the end of it It's not funny, why are you laughing? (laughs) – It's not funny

It's not funny, why are you laughing? – It's a long escalator, like, one that people didn't have time to, I think it looks like its in an airport, you know like you're in an airport, and it's a really long one, and then there's this giant sort of like metal barrier between the two so you can see the people going down the other one But it's like wide, right? So it's so crazy fast that people are starting to realize what's happening – Can we pull this up at this point? – Sure People are starting to realize what's happening and then one guy, at least one guy, just is like screw it, jumps onto the metal thing, and starts sliding down that faster than everybody else and starts hitting the posts on the thing It's awesome

– Are you trying to find it? Are you just? – In terms of fears though, in elevator falling, a lot scarier than an escalator falling – This is it – Okay – [Link] So this is the Guardian News – [Rhett] Look at that

– [Link] Oh my gosh – [Rhett] Look, look, look, look – [Link] Look how fast it's going – [Rhett] Watch this guy This guys like, "I'm goin' in

" – [Link] It's in Rome – [Rhett] Rome Nitro Station – Look at the bottom of it The bottom of it just crumpled up the escalator steps I mean, that is a nightmare, man

It's one thing to get a shoestring caught – Nobody died, but people were seriously injured The people at the bottom – Okay, well that's a downer We were having such a good, morally upright time

– Well you know what, just be careful – Before we reveled in that – Be careful on escalators especially if you're a baby eel – I mean, where do we go to find a new moral compass? I mean, we've gotta find it I'm looking over here

– It might be in this soup – [Link] We're celebrating 200 episodes of Ear Biscuits with a special retrospective episode, available now wherever you listen to podcasts

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