Killer Food Taste Test

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What we're gonna do right now, what we've learned, is that it is, in fact, difficult to tell the difference between a CEO and a killer – Oh it can be – But can we tell the difference between a normal sandwich and a killer sandwich? Here's what we've done We've gathered a lot of food stuffs that have the word "killer" in the official name, and then we're gonna combine it all together to make a sandwich, because we're starting with Dave's Killer Bread Now this is a mustached man with an electric guitar

He's shreddin' man This is good bread – This is what we have at my house – I've had this bread – and I'm assuming it's what we have at your house What we have at your house? (laughter behind camera) – Rhett has a, what do you call that thing when you like, for backstage, the rider? Like the form, that, – The rider

– Whenever bands go somewhere, backstage they want certain things – The rider, yeah – Rhett has submitted a rider to what he wants at my house Course I haven't responded to it Okay, so we got a plate here

So this is – You wanna top? – Killer Bread, I don't get "Raisin the Roof" – Yeah, I just get straight up just the original Oh, you're just eating the bread? – Taking a bite – I typically don't like raisins in my bread – It's more of a dessert bread at that point, but it's still killer, when you're shreddin

Okay, what do we want next? I think, – Does taste good, though – Rockstar Revolt – Don't put that on the sandwich Maybe at the end – Killer Grape

– I think we just need to wash it down, or we pour it on at the end – It has to be on the sandwich – Okay, well, let it be at the end 'Cause it'll be too soggy – Killer soggy

Alright, so we'll wait on that – But in the meantime we can just enjoy it Get a pick me up – Alright, we also have Brad's Crunchy Kale, Vampire Killer flavor Sunflower seed and chewy, I said chewy but that word is cashew

(laughter) I just saw the word cashew – [Rhett] Call it what you want, man – Chewy If you take the a s out, it says chew – Now is this the same stuff, we also, we have some of this in our office, but we don't have Vampire Killer

– Nope, kale, red peppers, – Is it a different brand? – I dunno, I've never tried this – Oh gosh, you made the old mistake You ripped above the, awp! You ripped above the opening – I hate it when this happens! – Yeah, no – And now you can't get it open! – You can't, we have to forfeit

We have to forfeit the kale – There's no way! – There's no way to get it open! – You can not get in there – It's resealable right there, too – Yeah, well it's also unsealable, unopenable – We're gonna have to bring Chase in here

(grunty yell) I dunno, where is Chase? I wanna see if, I bet he could rip it open – Well, I don't have just Chase, I have scissors – I just literally hurt my shoulder (laughter) No, you try to open it – No man, my hands are too sweaty

I can't, there's no way! This is why scissors were invented – But, are you gonna cut above the thing though? Cut above the resealable part – I'm gonna cut in exactly the right spot, man It's all the way, the reseal part's all the way down there, like, down there – No, it's not, it's right here

– No, it's right there It's right there, you feel it? – Yeah yeah yeah So cut above my nails – I don't need you to hold it! – [Link] I don't want you to screw it up Is that too low? – No! – It's crazy how easy it is once you cut it in the right spot

Is it killer, killer kale? – No, it smells good – Look at that It's just Kale covered in crunchy stuff – I found the best way to eat this kind of stuff, just put it in a bowl with a spoon, 'cause you feel like a complete moron, like, it gets everywhere It's not really chips, it's just a bunch of kale

– [Link] Oh, got a little prize! – Keep that on there, that's part of it (laughter) Vitamins – It says do not consume on it – Yeah, what does that mean? – Contains a harmless absorbent for humidity and odor – Alright, then watch me consume it

What else we got? – This is shaping up to be a good sandwich so far – Yeah, the first two steps – We have Allen's Killer Pythons One piece equals one portion – Why you gotta tell me that? – Why is that so big? One piece equals one portion! – Like, what caused, what led to that? Hold on, listen, all week we've been having people been having accidents because they don't understand that one piece is one portion

You know the guy in Ohio? He didn't understand it – What happened to him? – That was easy – Did he die? – Now one piece of these is one portion – Is one portion? – That's one portion – Oh, okay, I understand now

– 'Cause you wouldn't want to eat all of these I mean, who in their right mind would think that this is a portion? That's crazy! – If I want it to be a portion, it can be a portion! – Well you know what, it is now There we go, right there – Look at that, man Look at what kind of stretch I can get on this sucker

– It's killer, you got killer stretch? – Yeah, it tastes better when you stretch it Remember in middle school? – Yes! – When I came up with the theory that things tasted better when you shook it, and I got everybody in the cafeteria to shake their food? – Because it makes the electrons more active – The molecules (laughter) Everybody in Buies Creek School would sit in the cafeteria going: – Are you, hold on, hold on, are you just now telling me that was, you made that up? – Yeah, I wanted to see if I could get everybody to do it – I've been shaking my food ever since! – Yeah, it only last one day at Buies Creek School

– I'd like to think that I was in on that joke – Yeah – Remember also that other game we would play? What's in the bag? And we'd have a bag, and you'd put an ice cube in there, and then you would go, "What's in the bag?" This is middle school – Yeah – Maybe high school, and then you would squeeze, and the ice cube would come out, and I think you would– – This is gonna sound like it was something awesome

– I think at that point you would say, "Ice" (laughter) – Yeah, yeah, and there was the other thing – You had a weird sense of humor – We did at the barbecue restaurant in college – What's in the bag? – Where we had that, we took the barbecue sauce, – Can you get a piece of ice? – Stay with me, Link! – We gotta play this – Gosh

– Put it in the bag – It's like trying to hold down a snake – You know what, one portion – You remember at the Blue Moon barbecue place, we had the barbecue squeezy bottles? You hold it down here, and you walk up to somebody and you start talking to them and you squeeze it and then it would, not sauce, just barbecue smells, and you'd see them go: – I remember that! – I remember that! – Do that, next time you're at a barbecue restaurant – It's gotta be half full, it's gotta have a lot of air in it

– Just maintain eye contact with somebody and then just start squeezing– – And see how long they can resist it – And their nostrils will flare, but they won't think that it's you – Because it makes no sense that it would be you – Speaking of barbecue, we have D L

Jardine's Killer Barbecue Sauce Open that up, taste it We also have Cajohn's, Cajohn's, Killer Chipotle? Cajones perhaps? Cahones – Is it California John's? – Cahone, Cajohn's – Cajohn's

– Cajohn's – I dunno how you say this – I don't think I can get into this barbecue sauce – I also don't know what cajones are Mmkay, that's not how you, oh

– Let me see if it works from this bottle – Probably gonna be a little spicy Doesn't work – No, glass doesn't work – Let me see if it works from this one

I think I'm gonna douse your crotch If you shake it, it tastes better – That's a very, just middle of the road, I don't like to put that on my meat – Middle of the road, middle of the sandwich And the sides of the sandwich

– Don't sauce your meat until you taste your meat – And a little bit of this chipotle It's gonna be good when it comes together – How many portions of Killer Pythons do you have on there? – Uh, all of them We also have Killer Hogs, the Barbecue Rub

This is the barbecue rub – Oh, it's sealed, everything's sealed! What happened when things weren't sealed? Did people die all the time or something? – Well things aren't fresh It's a freshness seal – Uh, no, it's a seal for your safety – No, its freshness

– Oh, that's a freshness seal, that's different – Thanks for hanging out with us today – I mean if I wanted to poison that stuff I could do it anyway (laughter) It kind of works, but the motion's a little intense – It's hard to squeeze this one

– It's gotta be subtle, subtle – And you have to be talking, you have to be saying something – Did you see the game? – Did you see the game? – Alright, put it on there – And now, now throw the Rockstar, okay, that's enough Rockstar And then we're gonna, – Why don't you eat that? (laughter) – Okay, this is the killer sandwich everyone

Killer sandwich I watched the Andre the Giant documentary on HBO, – You should probably keep cutting it! – I can't talk and cut at the same time – I bet you can, see if you can – And there's a point when Andre the Giant, – No, see if you can cut, just try it, honestly try to cut and talk at the same time This will be a breakthrough for you

– There's a point when Andre the Giant goes on – This is what trying to have a conversation with him when he's driving is like – Well it's hard! – He either misses the turn, or doesn't talk Those are the only two options You're not gonna get where you're supposed to go and have a meaningful conversation – There's a point when Andre the Giant goes on David Letterman's show

– Heard of it – And he's huge, Andre the Giant, and he sits down, and he's so big, and he sits down, and first thing David Letterman says is "Would you like a mimosa?" He's so funny, it's like so funny – So funny! – It's like funniest guy ever, man Hero of mine! – You should write a book about him The one time that Andre the Giant, – Would you like a – It was so funny! – Would you like a mimosa? It was like, no one else, no one else could say that

– Yeah, no one else could say that, that's right – I think he said, "Could I interest you in a I'm choking "Could I interest you in a mimosa?" – And did Andre understand the humor? – Uh, Andre was a smart guy, yeah – This looks good – Okay

– You're really getting over the plate here Oh my goodness Well – Huh Needs salt

– Killer salt It's not bad, well it is bad – It needs more portions of pythons – What's in the bag? I can't breathe 'cause of the hot sauce – I dunno

– What's in the bag? – I dunno, let me see – What's in the bag? – I dunno, let me see – What's in the bag? Put your hands down – No – What's in the bag? – I dunno, what's in there, show it to me

– What's in the bag, what's in the bag? What's in the bag? We used to play this game in middle school, probably high school Hold on, here we go, here it is What's in the bag? – I dunno, show it Ice, is it ice? – It was ice

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