Ultimate Dad Jokes Game

(rooster crowing) – Oh, gifticality, let's see what it says – We're donating $1,000 to Children International to aid in their mission to make a long term impact by helping kids and young adults living in poverty

Please join us in giving at childrenorg/gmm – Alright, awesome Well, that was a lot of fun watchin' some singin' – That stabbed me right in the hand (everyone laughing) – It's a hard job at the desk

– Yeah, I thought it was a lot easier, but Link just like effortlessly pulls it – He has a pretty strong left arm – Yeah, well – So today' all about dad jokes – Yes, that's what we're gonna do – We're about to read some dad jokes I would love to be a corny dad one day, so I think this is – Unfortunately, I can't be a dad, but I can be a mom

– You can be a corny mom, you can be a corny mom – But what we're gonna do is – [Stevie] You guys are doing great, you guys are doing great

– Thank you Stevie – The voice of Stevie – Wow – So what we're gonna do is I will read a joke, and you try and guess the punch line, and vice versa, and see how that goes – See if I'm destined to be a corny dad, and if your destined to be a corny mom

– I mean, I feel like we will be – I'm excited, let's do it, you wanna start? – I'll start, yeah, yeah – Okay – Okay, what do you call a factory that sells passable products? – What, a factory that sells passable products? – Yeah, products that are just like okay – They're just like whatever? – They're just like, they work, they're at like the C plus of passing grades

– The Dollar General store, I don't know, what is this? – You're just going very literal, satisfactory – Okay, cool, that was nice, that was nice, alright mom – (laughing) okay – Okay, what do you call a fake noodle? – A fake noodle? I automatically just wanna say foodle, but I know that's not a thing – That's right, it's actually an impasta

– Oh, gotcha – You an impasta – Here's the thing about this game, I'm so bad at puns – I am not good at 'em either – So this is

– This is practice, Jen – Yeah, yeah, I gotta get better at my pun game Okay – Let's see what you got

– What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? – (snickering) an elephono (Jen laughing) An elephony, an elephony – That's not an elephant that doesn't matter – Uh, what is it? – Irrelephant – Okay, that's much better, alright much better

Okay, here we go, I got a good one for ya Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself? It was two tired! – God – You gotta be quick, Jen – I didn't know it was a speed game – It was two tired

– Okay, I'm sorry, I was thinking about the kickstand I dunno, whatever Why did the coffee file a police report? – Man, I'm bad at this – It got mugged! – Okay, that makes sense, that makes sense, ding, alright – I figured I had to yell at you 'cause you yelled at me

– Yeah, I can't hear anymore – [Stevie] Guys, I really wanna see you try Like I really wanna hear the inner workings of your brain as you try and answer these – Stevie, you're hearing it, there's not much in there I'm sorry, I'm disappointing you

– Crickets – There's crickets in there but here we go, we'll try I won't jump on ya – Please let me think – What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? – So snowmen are made of snow

– Right (everyone laughing) – And vampires suck blood, and they hate garlic – How do they suck blood? – With their teeth, fangs – They might do a little (imitates chomping) you know? – Bite, uh, what's the question? (everyone laughing) – What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? – Melting? (laughing) Uh, this is all I have in my brain, Stevie, I'm so sorry – Sorry Stevie, it's literally crickets

It's frostbite – Oh shoot, yeah, alright You shoulda said something about the movies – I told you one of the words (both laughing) But you're right, I should do Jack Frost next time

– We have to give each other hints I think that's how this game has to go – We're gonna get there – Clearly we're dumb (both laughing) Okay, did you hear about the kidnapping at school? – No, I didn't

– It's fine, he woke up – Was I supposed to figure that out? – Yeah I didn't, here's the thing, I didn't get it either As I was reading it, even if I read the answer, I was like what? (everyone laughing) – Is that what, what happened? Was this on the news? What do you call a man with a rubber toe? (everyone laughing) – (laughing) what, why's everybody laughing that joke hasn't even? – It's a great joke – What do you call a man with a rubber toe? – Yeah, just kinda try to combine those two words (everyone laughing) – I don't

– Roberto – Oh gosh, okay, I was just like, okay, toe rubber, that sounds bad (laughing) – There's a Wikipedia for that

– Okay, okay, okay, why can't you have a nose that's 12 inches long? – 'Cause you're not Pinocchio, bro (everyone laughing) Disney movies ain't real, bro – We're gonna be terrible parents – I'm just literal, man, I'm gonna be a literal father – Yeah, I don't do puns, okay, here it is, because then it would be a foot

– Okay, alright, yeah that makes sense, that makes sense I wouldn't've figured that out – That was literal but also – Funny – Yeah, I guess? – Okay here we go, here we go, you got this one, you've heard this one – Alright I'm ready, I'm ready – What's brown and sticky? – Oh a stick – You got it, she got it

– First one – You got it That hurt – Ow Yikes, okay, okay, okay, this is the last one for you

Why do crabs never give to charities? – Why do crabs never give to charities? – Mm hm, do you want me to give you a hint? – Yes, please, always – Think about what a crab is, like some people are allergic to this – It's a little soft shell, little uh – No it's like – People can't eat shells They can't eat shellfish, they're allergic to shellfish What's the joke again, what's the question? – Why do crabs never give to charities, and people who are mean and blank – They're shellfish

– Yeah, good – They're shellfish (applause) Things are lookin' good, kids Alright, final one – I'm ready

– Why can't you eat Wookie meat? – This is a Star Wars joke – Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on – Well, I'm not gonna get it – Oh come on, you know basic Wookie What was that, can I hear that again? (imitating Wookie yelling) – Chewbacca

– He's here, that's close – 'Cause you can't Chewbacca? – Close, why can't you eat Wookie meat, because? – Because you can't Chewbacca – 'Cause it's too Chewy – Oh, okay, okay – It's too Chewy

– I was thinkin,' I was like what's Chewbacca? – Alright, whatever – Oh gosh – [Rhett] You know what else is always open? Our Amazon store where you can get GMM logo tee's in different colors, they come in men, women, and kid sizes Go to amazoncom/mythical

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