Weird 99 Cent Store Easter Haul

( rooster crows ) ( animal roars ) Whew! Welcome to Good Mythical More! – 10-word story! – Ooh, a new one – I

– once – had – a – big – suitcase

– full – of – other – Mama suitcases

Then– That's 10 words, I believe Yeah I mean, we just told the greatest story of all time You know– you finish it You finish it in the comments below

I once had a suitcases full of other mama's suitcases – Is that what it was? – Yep – Okay– – I once had a suitcase full of other mama suitcases! Wow! You were actually counting Well, Chase was giving me signals in the back Speaking of that, Chaster Bunny, why don't you come and bring in our 99-cent haul

Finish that story in the comments below Man, here– We went to the 99-cent store, y'all – We got a haul – Do the 99! Do the 99! Even though our stuff is not just priced at 99 I've said it before, I'll say it again right now

I'm so offended every time I see 99 cents only and know that they no longer hold to their mission because there's stuff in there that's not only 99 cents – Now before we open this– – Have the courage to take "only" out of the name The reason why you're able– You're– why are you so good at guzzling? Is it that your throat– Big throat McLaughlin, man Small mouth, big throat – You're like a bass

– I'm like a backwards cornucopia Anatomically like a backwards cornucopia If it makes its way through it's like entering– – It's like a whale – Yeah – It's just so hollow in there

– Exactly, right Yeah I do the same thing with– what do they eat? What do they eat– the little things they eat? – Krill Krill – Krill

– Yeah, I eat– – Yeah There's stuff smaller than that What's the smaller stuff they eat than that? – Brine – Plankton – Plankton! – Brine is just salty water

– They eat a lot of that, too – I eat plankton You should see my insides I have just a normal cornucopia digestive system I think it's just– honestly, it's like there are some things that you're able to get down more easily than I can and then there are some things that I can get down more easily than you

– And we all have– – You did it to me! You can't say that I don't have what it takes and you're the one over there making me make the intricate connection with baby chickens That's called entertainment, man – I do have what– – And I like a sunny-side up egg and you hate a runny egg Do I have what it takes? You have what it takes to not get eggs down You know what? I have what it takes

I don't need you to give it to me, that's the thing – We all have within us what it takes – That's right No one can give you what it takes – That's true

– But you do have it That's a lie that you learn as a child So– all right, so, first off the bat – Bye, Chaster Bunny – Bye

– Right off the bat – Oh, look at that – I get a hat – You get a hat I get a hat! Big throat gets a hat and little throat gets a hat

And then– I'm not picking this stuff out in any order – We're keeping the tags on – Yeah We don't know – We don't know – So we can prove the value when we eBay all this

where this is going We just know it's gonna be good Look at that It's a– it's a purple Peep – in a basket – Oh! – That's cute

– That's just something for grandma's knickknack shelf Oh, speaking of which – Look at this, Rhett

– Ooh, another knickknack A glass bunny! – Oh, what is he holding? – Whoa! What does he hold? He's holding an egg That's like a clear Chaster Bunny Look at this It's 2

4 inches tall You know the weird thing – Says it right there

– with doing this every year is that I start to believe that bunnies lay eggs It happens every year

By the end of the segment I'm a believer I betcha they can get a bunny to lay an egg They can do all kinds of things with CRISPR now – Alligators lay eggs What's the difference? – Yeah

Yeah, well, one's a reptile and one's a mammal, but– What about a platypus? The great curveball from nature Yep, Deep Throat with the curveball – That's the difference, that's not you – It's like a man who's got a cornucopia inside of him What is it? Oh, look at this, Rhett! Candy powder-filled plastic carrots

There's no choking hazard involved in this Break those open It's only 99 cents? Of course, we don't know It could be $199, you jerks! Gotta wait until you get to the register

You gonna snort it? I just wanted to get an idea of how much is in there About that much Just put it on your tongue – Last time– – Oh, gosh! Last time we did a haul, we took a pregnancy test – Take some

– It's good, man Here's a little bit Just a tad Ooh, daddy! – That's good, isn't it? – That is good Probably good for you, too

Oh, Rhett, this is gonna make your day Glitter carrot pick What? Glitter carrot pick Is this a toothpick? – Is that– – It's a huge, freakin' toothpick Is that– is it edible? It's a– it's a carrot pick

Nope, not edible What does this mean? – Glitter carrot pick – Is it a toothpick? I mean it says it right there I think you– I think it's– You plant carrots outside – Glitter carrot pick – and you mark where the carrots have been planted

Until the real carrots come and replace it and then you just put 'em back– and put 'em back inside and wait until next carrot season Ooh, and look at this! You can– – Oh, Rhett – Oh, now that's how eggs actually happen I want you to have that Momentum Brands imported this

Oh, yeah, and look at this one It's like it's a repurposed Christmas ornament How many inches tall you think that is, Link? – How many inches tall? – Yeah Oh, we're getting into some real fun now Yeah, yeah

– 'Cause it's on– It says it on there – Okay I want you to guess I would say that's 11 inches Huh

It's 13 Lower the bar to exceed expectations That's what I always say And– Ooh, we got– Oh, there's a wind-up toy I had a child once who collected wind-up toys

Link, how tall do you think this guy is? 'Cause it's also on there Now, listen, I take back everything I ever said about the 99 cents only store because they put how tall things are on everything, and then you got a game That's worth all the extra money in the world How tall you think that is? – I know exactly – Four and a half inches

524 inches And, finally Happy Easter, Rhett! I want you to have this Yep, you've guessed it! A foam egg Is there something inside of it? – Let's find out – Nope Probably need Chase to come in and break it apart

Chase, can you help? Can you lend a hand? What it– wait You're taking off your costume already? – Chase: I was hot, I was hot – "I was hot" It's not a costume What are you, crazy? Taking off your skin

Put your skin back on I don't know what you're talking about Can you break that in half? Uh, don't That was– that was a mistake ( spits ) You're gonna have glitter coming out your rear for days

Yeah, that egg's gonna be nice and sparkly Chase, you can give up if you need to What are you doing? Just break it open, man Hey, how tall is that egg? I'd say– You can't do it, can ya? – I don't think I can do it – Do you have what it takes? I have what it takes to do other things

That's right! Exactly! Join the club, man! If one of you can tell me how tall that egg is down to the 100th of an inch, I will get completely naked right now – You both have a guess – I don't wanna guess – 100 inches – I'm– I'm not talking about– I'm talking about the egg

100 inches Yeah, 200 inches I don't want you to get naked Oh Oh, I see where this is going

511, that's all you had to say 511 inches, everybody! Happy Easter!

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